June 13, 2003
Orwellian Council
The headline in the SP Times says ”Building redesign saves old oak,” but if you read the article, this quote may jump out at you:
City Council member Mary Alvarez predicted the tree would live another 100 years.
"Nothing kills that tree," she said.
But on the site plan approved Thursday, which showed a spot for the grand oak, there was an asterisk.
The development will effectively kill the tree, it said.
The project, which originally would have bulldozed the tree, will now be so close to the grand oak that it will probably die.
Instead of a fast death, it could be a slow one.
"I think trees need space," said Steve Graham, the city's urban forester.
That last utterance may be controversial in Tampa. Oh, and Mary: YOU just killed that tree.
The city has a so-called tree ordinance that is supposed to protect large specimens such as this one. Whether people realize it or not, trees are good things, and large trees provide huge benefits in our warm and moist climate.
I’d rather they just chop the thing down, but the huge scar left in the shade by their actions would be too ugly and shocking even to casual observers. By saving the tree in order to kill it more slowly, the tree will gradually wither away, and most people will hardly notice its final demise.
It’s not all bad, though: once all the trees are gone we can all flock to the common areas of our local Corporate Welfare Malls and hang out in the cool AC. We don’t need no stinking shade. Why “corporate welfare”? Taxpayers pad the profits of mall developers through sweetheart lease deals, tax incentives, and other giveaways. Then the malls come in (chopping down all the trees) and essentially become our common areas. Unfortunately, despite the fact that you are helping to pay for these things, you can only hang out if you dress and act appropriately. Watch the slogans on your t-shirts, and don’t even think about turning your hat around backwards. And don’t lean on that silk “tree” in the food court, ‘cause you sure don’t wanna take a chance on damaging corporate property.
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